Simon Says

Sometimes I fall asleep during awards shows. Not last night.

I spiced up the 68th Annual Golden Globe Awards by inventing my own
10 award categories. Here they are…

1. MOST DRAUGHTY DRESS
January Jones’ revealing Versace

2. BEST USE OF SPARKLE
Natalie Portman’s red beaded rose on her Viktor and Rolf frock

3. BEST ATTEMPT TO BRING BACK THE UP-DO
Natalie Portman again. (Ok I admit it. I love her.)

4. MOST FABULOUSLY STRANGE DUO
Geoffrey Rush and Tilda Swinton

5. BEST L’WREN SCOTT MOMENT
Tina Fey, the wittiest chick in NYC

6. MOST LIKELY TO BE MOCKED BY ‘The Star’ BUT GORGEOUS ANYWAY Helena Bonham Carter in her Vivienne Westwood + blind-lady shades

7. NIFTIEST TUX
Robert Pattinson’s navy number

8. LEAST RECOGNIZABLE CELEB DUE TO BANGS
Sandra Bullock with a whole lotta fringe

9. BEST RELAXED GROOVY UNCONVENTIONAL STYLE
Annette Bening with her tousled hair and nerdy glasses

10. MOST HEARTWARMING MOMENT
Michael Douglas looking happy and healthy. So relieved he can now get on with shooting the upcoming Liberace movie.

See you at the Oscars!
-Simon Doonan

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